the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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