he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize