fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
