Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize