Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
