Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize