i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
