its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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