Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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