5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
