So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
