i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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