How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
