do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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