there was a trapeze. enough said
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
