I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
