I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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