the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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