This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
