i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
