I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize