Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize