R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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