ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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