Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
