She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
