hotel room ftw
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
