Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
