yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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