I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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