Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
