Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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