Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize