Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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