You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
