im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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