dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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