They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize