Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
