I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the day after is always just damage control
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
