In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
