Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
