I wanna bring you to show and tell
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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