If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
