just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
