I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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