Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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