We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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