we're blogging at a bar
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
