Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
