I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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