My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize