im drinking this country out of the recession.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
