I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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