Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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