"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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