Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
