She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
