I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
