hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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