Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
