is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize